Whether you’re a busy mother or not, running a business is a full time 24/7 job. Your brain is always buzzing, you’re always ‘on call’, anything can be a business opportunity and everything is networking. In my line of business I depend on client communication, client information and content plus need to work to client deadlines. I have to be incredibly flexible, able to drop everything when someone calls and requests something urgently, fit in all the actual design work, be professional, network, collaborate, plan ahead, plus carry out all the day to day business jobs including marketing and social media. So how do I do this? Here are a few top tips:

• Schedule everything, even the emails that you need to reply to and keep your diary open on your desktop
• Stick to your schedule as much as possible – do not get distracted by your surroundings
• Set reminders that will alert you so you don’t forget stuff
• Have set office hours so you’re not taking calls after 3pm
• Get up early (or do this in the evening) and organize/plan your day/schedule social media/prepare emails etc
• Do quick requests immediately – don’t bother sending an email saying “I can get to that next week”. Just do it there and then (obviously if you are able to), if not, then schedule it in
• Answer calls and call people back immediately (this will alleviate the pressures of having too much to get done)
• Plan for events that require child care ahead of time
• Buy work clothes that don’t need to be ironed
• Establish a good support network(s)
• Through these networks, find businesses you can sub-contract to or collaborate with
• Hire an admin person to help with office tasks (virtual office assistance is perfect for small businesses)
• Use Google alerts and Bloglovin so you have a constant supply of useful articles and info to post about on social media that is relevant to your industry
• Use helpful tools such as Hootsuite or Tweetdeck to help you with social media marketing – save time, be efficient
• Set up an auto responder so people know when you will be replying to them
• Make sure you have a dedicated space in your home to work and make it a proper ‘home office’
• Dress like you’re going out to work – makes you feel more efficient and productivity will increase
• Get on Facebook for business and network online with local businesses (this is also a great way of keeping up to date with events and networking opportunities in your area)
• Take online courses and do online tutorials to help keep costs down, save time while still keeping abreast of your industry news, current business trends, and technology
• Do not work at the weekends (or if you work on the weekends, keep two days per week free for R&R) Work hard, play hard
• There is so much more!

And if you have babies, a lot of this can still work, you’ll just be taking more breaks. I started my business with a 20 month old and a one week old. Both still in nappies at the same time! It was hard, but that’s how I learned to multitask.

Whether you have a job or not, being a busy mother to three children is a full time 24/7 job. Especially when all three children attend three different schools! Because I work from a home office, I have the benefit (or maybe it’s not a benefit?) of being able to drop everything if the school calls, if the washing machine blows up, or if I suddenly realize there’s no food in the house. Children are demanding by nature, they need stuff, they need help, they need their mother, they also do clubs and activities and need help with all of that, the schools they attend need parental engagement and commitment. So how do I do this? Here are a few top tips:

• Put important stuff on the fridge or on a board in the kitchen or in a central place
• Diarize regularly
• Teach your children and husband to diarize
• Hold frequent but brief family meetings to keep everyone up to date with what’s going on
• Save time by doing grocery shopping online and get it delivered
• Shop online as much as possible to save time
• Plan ahead so things are not last minute and therefore hectic or stressful
• Set chores that each child knows they are responsible for (such as feeding pets or emptying the dishwasher)
• Have a set day/time to do laundry and ironing
• Stock the freezer and either mentally plan the week’s meals or schedule them out on paper
• Get a slow cooker (crock pot) and a few great cookbooks
• Prepare or prep or simply plan in your head evening meals before breakfast
• Teach your children to cook (when they are old enough) and get them to prepare dinner once in a while
• Create a folder for each child to put their school work, club information, award certificates etc in
• Get a cleaner (seriously, I never thought I’d do this, but after my third child was born, it became a necessity)
• Set alerts on your phone for remembering things like car MOT or renewing car stuff or insurances and birthdays
• Set alerts on your phone for just about anything that you need to remember!
• Don’t fret about how busy things are and how much you have to get done – breathe – and take things one step at a time
• Automate as many things as possible so you’re not having to spend ages paying bills or renewing policies
• Get online banking APP on your phone and any APP that helps to organize things and save time such as The Train Line App or JustEat (for those impossible days – at least you won’t starve your family)
• Establish a good relationship with an IFA so if you need to ask any questions, you have someone to call
• Flag or Star parent mail and color code for all the different schools
• Set a regular time in the evening the same day parent mail comes in to look through it, print out anything important and talk to your children about upcoming school stuff
• Have a stock of birthday presents and cards on hand, order an extra item when shopping online and save it for a present or mufti day contribution
• Establish the best places to get school uniforms, school supplies etc and don’t waste time trying other things out – if it works, use it (until it stops working)
• Spend time waiting at swimming/dance/football/clubs filling out school papers, diarizing, organizing, reading, planning etc

I’m sure there’s more…

And if you have babies, a lot of this can still work, apart from the cooking and chores of course! And, you won’t have all the school stuff to deal with.

I’m not saying I’m the perfect mother, seriously I’m so not! And things will always crop up, stuff will go wrong – that’s what happens in life. I got the parent mail from the schools mixed up last term and tried to show up for my daughter’s parent’s evening two weeks late. Er. Not good.

Anyway, hope this helps or at least inspires you in some small way. Life is hard, but there are things we can do to make it easier and enjoy it all.

Trophy awarded to me by one of my design clients

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Meghan Peterson Fenn is the author of Bringing Up Brits and co-author of Inspiring Global Entrepreneurs with Heidi Mulligan Walker. Meghan is also the Director and Chief Designer at her own design company, White Ochre Design Ltd. And, she is an award winning expat blogger.

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Raising children can be difficult at the best of times. The way we parent is determined by many factors and our cultural environment and heritage are definitely important. I am an American mother raising my three children in the UK with a British husband. Because my children were born in England, I haven’t had the experience of bringing them up in the USA so it wasn’t until I visited my parents in my home country that I realised just how ‘English’ a mother I am……..

PLEASE CONTINUE TO READ THIS HERE http://lifewithadoublebuggy.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/third-culture-parenting-parenting.html

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Parenting is like a website – you can plan it, save money for it, come up with different ideas for it, have a set of guidelines for it and have a strategy for it. But when it’s actually born online, it is forever growing, changing and developing. I think the way we parent is also constantly evolving because every stage is new. Especially for those with both boys and girls. Like websites as well, there are many books we can read to help us make decisions and improve it or find ideas to help us. (sorry for the web analogy, it’s just that websites and children are the two things I think about all the time!)

Here are some books I’ve found very helpful during the past 11 years of being a parent. Many of you may have come across them before.

How to be an ‘Amazing Mum’ When you Just Don’t Have the Time by Tanith Carey
This book is full of great ideas for busy mothers. It has motivated me on many occassions when I just felt things were too hectic or I felt too guilty about being a working mother. It has practical ideas and solutions. Not all of them work, but it’s worth trying out some of Carey’s advice. At the least, it’s a way to jump-start yourself into making the effort and following through with things which could ultimately improve your life as a busy working mum.

Annabel Karmel’s Complete Family Meal Planner by Annabel Karmel
Love this book and use it when we all get bored of the meals I cook on a weekly basis (you know how you just fall into habits – pasta on a monday/Tacos on a tuesday etc…) well this book can really jazz up your cooking and has great party ideas and lunchbox ideas. My children love it too and we often use it at the weekends or when they have friends over.

Mothers: Twenty Stories of Contemporary Motherhood by Katrina Kenison and Kathleen Hirsch
This book should be read by every mother. That’s all I will say – get it, read it and see for yourself.

365 Ways to a Smarter Preschooler by Marilee Robin Burton and Susan G. MacDonald
I feel the title of this book is slightly mis-leading. It’s basically a great book full of fun activities that you can do with your child. It was given to me when my second child was born and I’ve used it ever since with all of my children. It’s also great to take with you when you go on holiday. You might have to improvise a bit, but it will ensure no one gets bored!

Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Read the review I wrote of this book on Parent Guide UK http://parentguideuk.wordpress.com/2012/09/28/review-siblings-without-rivalry-by-adele-faber-and-elaine-mazlish/

Bringing Up Brits: Expat Parents Raising Cross-Cultural Kids in Britain by Meghan Peterson Fenn
Since I wrote this book, I’m putting a review here from a parent who has read it. I think it can be useful to parents who are parenting in countries they are not from or raising their children in a language that is not their own.

“I loved this book. As the child of an Indian mother who left her native South Africa to live in Britain with my English dad, I felt I could relate to what it must have been like for her bringing up her children in a culture very different to her own. I loved reading about people’s experiences in the book, it gave it a very real feel. I was also saddened by the negative experiences.
It was lovely to read about the authors Americanisms and it reminds me that here in Britain we do have some awareness of American culture, probably due to the amount of American TV programmes. However, British culture seems quite alien to those arriving here! A must read for Brits and non-Brits alike!” – Sun Flower mama

I welcome other suggestions if you have read a book that’s been instrumental to your life as a parent. Please leave a comment with the book title, author and as much detail as you wish.

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Over the past few weeks there have been a number of articles in the national press about Pamela Druckerman’s book called French Children Don’t Throw Food. A few of my comments were in the Daily Mirror in Tanith Carey’s article – So Why Don’t French Kids Throw Food? Which of course I am thrilled about as my photo was in it with a mention of my book Bringing Up Brits ! I said a few more comments when they asked me which were not printed (i’m sure due to space and relevance) so wanted to mention them here and to elaborate.

Parents naturally want to fit in with their peers and when they are living and raising their children in a foreign culture, they change or adapt their parenting styles in order to be accepted and to look ‘normal’. I think that’s something we do without even realizing it. At the same time, we want to retain our own culture and ways of doing things and this is one of the hardest aspects of raising children in a foreign country.

So If I were living in France, would I conform to the French parenting model? It’s hard to say but I do know I would feel pressure to do so just as I feel pressure here to be more British and to do things the British way. Here, I feel parenting in general is very relaxed and laid back compared with parenting in the States. For example, parents tend to give their children the benefit of the doubt more so than in the Staes. Parents are less quick to reprimand and prefer to see how the situation evolves. They will intercede (although not always) when necessary, but getting to that stage is slower. Even the way parents interact with other parents is very different. Play dates and get togethers happen more organically and ‘by chance’ rather than in a more open and direct way. I have learned this the hard way and have now almost completely conformed to the British way! However when it comes to disciplining my children either at home or in public, I don’t feel I conform to the British way at all. I feel I am a strict parent compared to the British parents I know. Conversely, I am not nearly (or even at all close) as strict as my parents were when I was a child growing up in America. Like Druckerman says “And unlike in the UK, where ‘no’ can mean ‘I’m not sure’ or ‘maybe later’, in France ‘non’ means ‘absolutely not'”, this would apply to American parenting as well. British parents are less willing to establish absolutes which leads to children thinking that ‘no’ doesn’t actually mean no at all.

My husband sometimes thinks I am too strict on our children but when I explain my reasoning for it, he usually agrees with me. We do have different parenting styles simply becuase of (but not only due to) a cultural divide. And at times I am calmed by my husband’s more relaxed, laid back and (let’s face it – more fun) approach to parenting. I do get frustrated sometimes and feel that I should just give in and be more ‘British’.

To see the article in the Daily Mirror, please click on the image below.

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I thoroughly enjoyed reading Battle Hymn because, unsurprisingly, I’m fascinated by how cultural differences and backgrounds influence the way we parent and how we raise our children. Read Bringing Up Brits and you’ll see what I mean! Battle hymn is not only about the discipline, it is also about cultural differences, the emotional journey of a parent and our innate desire for our children to be able to acheive all they want to acheive.

Wonderland: Meet Britain’s Chinese Tiger Mums. This is worth a watch! I particularly related to the Canadian Taiwanese mother. She emphasised the process of learning and how that is good for the child’s future approach to life. Two of the other Chinese mothers emphasised studying hard to eventually get a good job and earn lots of money. It seemed the driving factor was wealth – not to get rich, but to be well-off and be able to provide for themselves and their families and have status. The British dad married to the Taiwanese mother was hilarious. No question about who wears the pants in their marriage! I really felt for him because he just wanted to play with his daughter – all he wanted was for her to be happy and to be able to play. I suppose she has the best of both worlds – a Tiger mother and a laid back British father. It’s interesting what Amy Chua’s daughter says about her mother now at the age of 18. She is her mother’s daughter – see the video below.

I only know two Chinese mothers raising their children in Britain and they do not seem like Tiger Mothers at all. I would love to meet a Tiger mother here in Britain.

My dear friend Heidi who is American and married to a British husband, is currently raising her three British born children in Beijing. I wonder if she has met any Tiger mothers? Has her parenting style and the way she raises her children been influenced by other mothers and families in China?

Amy Chua the “Tiger mom” talks with Gretchen Carlson:

Wonderland – Series 4. Meet Britain’s Chinese Tiger Mums – Click Here to view

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