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I struggled in a new country making friends and also meeting people who understood what I was going through. I started following The Mothership and messaged them within two months to ask about their Sleep Support Packages – at first I didn’t agree with this as it sounded like I had to train my child and most Sleep Trainers had advised me to do ‘Cry it Out’ which I was not comfortable with, but after asking a billion questions I finally booked a Sleep Support Package with Alexandra! I spoke with Alexandra and she took everything in to consideration; what I was comfortable with, what my husband was comfortable with and also my son’s health.

Alexandra really worked with me and talked me through each step, she also wrote out the plan for me so I can refer back to it on days where I am struggling to keep the new routine and even after the package she still helps me.

The Sleep Support Package really does what is says and SUPPORTS you each step of the way. Investing in the SSP was the best thing I could of done, my son has less tantrums as he is sleeping better and I am a lot better to be around now that I sleep at least 7 hours a night (sorry to rub that in).

Thank you Alexandra and The Mothership! xxx

A message from Alexandra, CEO of The Mothership:

The Mothership offers a Sleep Service personalized for you. If you are wondering if you will ever get a good night sleep again or that your little one will sleep calmly at night or in the day then the Mothership can help. Regardless of your parenting style we will find an approach, which you are comfortable with and that is right for your baby. Having a gentle hand to guide, encourage and reassure you can make all the difference in achieving your goals. We believe it is important to have a service, which holds your hand when you need it, and lets you grow in your own confidence and ability at other times.

As well as our detailed consultations we offer you a months unlimited phone and email support to make sure we can achieve your goals. We will help you to find realistic goals, which are appropriate for your little ones age, development and temperament and review your whole 24 hour routine and not just the sleep times. We can advise on reflux, tongue-tie, baby sleep care and toddler and Pre-School challenges. Contact us to discuss your own needs and see if you feel we are the right people to support you and your family at this time.

For more information please visit our Mothership Facebook Page www.facebook.com/TheMothership.expert/

Or visit our website www.TheMothership.expert

Please feel free to contact us with any questions in regards to pregnancy of parenthood, we are here to Learn – Develop – Grow as a expat community!

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ALEXANDRA ELEFTHERIOU
CEO, OWNER, MATERNITY NURSE, SLEEP SUPPORT CONSULTANT & INTERNATIONAL NANNY

Alexandra Eleftheriou founded The Mothership whilst working in the Middle East as a Maternity Nurse, after identifying the need to support expat parents and parents with no family network close by. Alexandra believes in attachment parenting values, positive parenting principles and other parenting styles that nurture the parent-child bond, whilst guiding clients to respectful solutions to their sleep issues.

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Whether you’re a busy mother or not, running a business is a full time 24/7 job. Your brain is always buzzing, you’re always ‘on call’, anything can be a business opportunity and everything is networking. In my line of business I depend on client communication, client information and content plus need to work to client deadlines. I have to be incredibly flexible, able to drop everything when someone calls and requests something urgently, fit in all the actual design work, be professional, network, collaborate, plan ahead, plus carry out all the day to day business jobs including marketing and social media. So how do I do this? Here are a few top tips:

• Schedule everything, even the emails that you need to reply to and keep your diary open on your desktop
• Stick to your schedule as much as possible – do not get distracted by your surroundings
• Set reminders that will alert you so you don’t forget stuff
• Have set office hours so you’re not taking calls after 3pm
• Get up early (or do this in the evening) and organize/plan your day/schedule social media/prepare emails etc
• Do quick requests immediately – don’t bother sending an email saying “I can get to that next week”. Just do it there and then (obviously if you are able to), if not, then schedule it in
• Answer calls and call people back immediately (this will alleviate the pressures of having too much to get done)
• Plan for events that require child care ahead of time
• Buy work clothes that don’t need to be ironed
• Establish a good support network(s)
• Through these networks, find businesses you can sub-contract to or collaborate with
• Hire an admin person to help with office tasks (virtual office assistance is perfect for small businesses)
• Use Google alerts and Bloglovin so you have a constant supply of useful articles and info to post about on social media that is relevant to your industry
• Use helpful tools such as Hootsuite or Tweetdeck to help you with social media marketing – save time, be efficient
• Set up an auto responder so people know when you will be replying to them
• Make sure you have a dedicated space in your home to work and make it a proper ‘home office’
• Dress like you’re going out to work – makes you feel more efficient and productivity will increase
• Get on Facebook for business and network online with local businesses (this is also a great way of keeping up to date with events and networking opportunities in your area)
• Take online courses and do online tutorials to help keep costs down, save time while still keeping abreast of your industry news, current business trends, and technology
• Do not work at the weekends (or if you work on the weekends, keep two days per week free for R&R) Work hard, play hard
• There is so much more!

And if you have babies, a lot of this can still work, you’ll just be taking more breaks. I started my business with a 20 month old and a one week old. Both still in nappies at the same time! It was hard, but that’s how I learned to multitask.

Whether you have a job or not, being a busy mother to three children is a full time 24/7 job. Especially when all three children attend three different schools! Because I work from a home office, I have the benefit (or maybe it’s not a benefit?) of being able to drop everything if the school calls, if the washing machine blows up, or if I suddenly realize there’s no food in the house. Children are demanding by nature, they need stuff, they need help, they need their mother, they also do clubs and activities and need help with all of that, the schools they attend need parental engagement and commitment. So how do I do this? Here are a few top tips:

• Put important stuff on the fridge or on a board in the kitchen or in a central place
• Diarize regularly
• Teach your children and husband to diarize
• Hold frequent but brief family meetings to keep everyone up to date with what’s going on
• Save time by doing grocery shopping online and get it delivered
• Shop online as much as possible to save time
• Plan ahead so things are not last minute and therefore hectic or stressful
• Set chores that each child knows they are responsible for (such as feeding pets or emptying the dishwasher)
• Have a set day/time to do laundry and ironing
• Stock the freezer and either mentally plan the week’s meals or schedule them out on paper
• Get a slow cooker (crock pot) and a few great cookbooks
• Prepare or prep or simply plan in your head evening meals before breakfast
• Teach your children to cook (when they are old enough) and get them to prepare dinner once in a while
• Create a folder for each child to put their school work, club information, award certificates etc in
• Get a cleaner (seriously, I never thought I’d do this, but after my third child was born, it became a necessity)
• Set alerts on your phone for remembering things like car MOT or renewing car stuff or insurances and birthdays
• Set alerts on your phone for just about anything that you need to remember!
• Don’t fret about how busy things are and how much you have to get done – breathe – and take things one step at a time
• Automate as many things as possible so you’re not having to spend ages paying bills or renewing policies
• Get online banking APP on your phone and any APP that helps to organize things and save time such as The Train Line App or JustEat (for those impossible days – at least you won’t starve your family)
• Establish a good relationship with an IFA so if you need to ask any questions, you have someone to call
• Flag or Star parent mail and color code for all the different schools
• Set a regular time in the evening the same day parent mail comes in to look through it, print out anything important and talk to your children about upcoming school stuff
• Have a stock of birthday presents and cards on hand, order an extra item when shopping online and save it for a present or mufti day contribution
• Establish the best places to get school uniforms, school supplies etc and don’t waste time trying other things out – if it works, use it (until it stops working)
• Spend time waiting at swimming/dance/football/clubs filling out school papers, diarizing, organizing, reading, planning etc

I’m sure there’s more…

And if you have babies, a lot of this can still work, apart from the cooking and chores of course! And, you won’t have all the school stuff to deal with.

I’m not saying I’m the perfect mother, seriously I’m so not! And things will always crop up, stuff will go wrong – that’s what happens in life. I got the parent mail from the schools mixed up last term and tried to show up for my daughter’s parent’s evening two weeks late. Er. Not good.

Anyway, hope this helps or at least inspires you in some small way. Life is hard, but there are things we can do to make it easier and enjoy it all.

Trophy awarded to me by one of my design clients

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Meghan Peterson Fenn is the author of Bringing Up Brits and co-author of Inspiring Global Entrepreneurs with Heidi Mulligan Walker. Meghan is also the Director and Chief Designer at her own design company, White Ochre Design Ltd. And, she is an award winning expat blogger.

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I had tried many times in the past to get my head around the UK state school system for the high school level but it isn’t really until you’re in the thick of it that you begin to have a clear understanding of what your child will go through. It is intense. Much more so than what I remember from my high school years in America.

Even though I did a few AP (Advanced Placement) classes at my high school, I really don’t remember it being as structured as this. It certainly did not feel limiting as we took a very broad range of classes and never really had to choose in the same manner as my children have to do here in England.

As far as I can see (and I’ll update as we go), there are certainly benefits in that children can focus on core subjects that they enjoy and do well in. I think this is a great motivator. It’s also a solid starting point for when they go on to college (which is what I would term as the final two years of high school but here it is college and a completely different system) and have to choose a very narrow line of study. This then would help determine which University they could apply to as most of them specialize in particular and specialized courses. It’s all starting to make sense!

However, there are a few drawbacks (maybe it’s down to the particular school) in that there are only three language options. Italian is not one of them. And they have to choose between History and Geography – they don’t take both unless they choose the one not chosen for the main choice as one of their additional choices. And it does look like they might not get their first choice in the additional choices. We shall see about that. To me, this does seem quite limiting at this stage in their schooling.

My son is excited about computing, food tech and possibly business studies. He’s chosen French for his language and is doing double science. Of course they have to do English Language and Literature, Math, Science and PE (but PE is not examined).

What I am most impressed with is my son’s positive attitude, his recognition of the hard work ahead, his forward planning on how to tackle learning and studying (which is called ‘revising’ here) and his determination to do well.

He is way more prepared and way less scared than I am!

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Meghan Peterson Fenn is the author of Bringing Up Brits and co-author of Inspiring Global Entrepreneurs with Heidi Mulligan Walker. Meghan is also the Director and Chief Designer at her own design company, White Ochre Design Ltd. And, she is an award winning expat blogger.

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Here are some hints and tips for staying warm this November as we move into December and the temperature rapidly drops:

• Get a hot water bottle for every member of your family. They are wonderful and you can get mini ones for the littlies and soft furry covers for them which will delight the kids. When I’m working, I have one on my lap that I can warm my hands up with (my hands get frozen when I’m working!). Hint – for preparing them for the children, just put a small amount of boiling water in and then top it up with lukewarm water so it’s not scalding hot!
• Get a rice or lentil heating pad. We love these and make them out of old odd socks (my husband’s invention). Fill with rice or lentils, tie up the end, stick in the microwave and you have a hot sock that you can put on the back of your neck, in your lap, under the covers, around your head, inside your pillow case, on your hands. Make sure there are no holes in your socks though!
• Stock up on fruit and herbal tea – especially tea with echinacea, hot chocolate and… what’s that stuff called here? Ovaltine. Sounds horrid but my kids love it. And obviously have a vast amount of ‘builders tea’ on the go at all times. (see how British I’ve become!)
• Get Netflix or AmazonInstant, lots of blankets and cuddle up with the kids.
• For those who refuse to turn the heating on, invest in a lightweight puffer jacket – one that is not too bulky but that is really warm – and wear it around the house to retain your body heat.
• Drink lots of fluids. Don’t ice up your drink too much.
• If you do have a sore throat, gargling warm salt water can help.
• For car journeys, put lots of blankets on top of the kids to keep them warm and snug.
• GLOVES – Never de-ice your car without gloves/mittens on.
• Layer the kids up in clothes. An extra T shirt under their tops and tights under jeans or pants for girls helps to keep them warmer. Isn’t it funny how sometimes kids don’t seem to feel the cold? I’m forever telling them to wear their coats, but my older two don’t seem to be bothered by the cold!
• Have homemade soup on the go so you can heat it up for after school for a hot snack. Even just a small cupful can do wonders for heating the kids up.
• HATS
• ONSIES
• SLIPPERS or socks. Don’t let those little feet get cold.
• For old draughty houses, get some door draught excluders or make one out of rice or lentils.
• Jumping jacks. Warms you up, good exercise and increases your energy. Or if you don’t like jumping jacks, then any quick movements to get your heart rate up – just a 4 to 5 minute running in place exercise can help. Of course going to the gym can do it – but I don’t have that luxury!

Here’s my prep for pumpkin soup and pumpkin pie. Getting ready for Thanksgiving!

Stay warm everyone and please share your hints or tips for keeping warm when it’s getting cold in Britain in the comments below.

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Meghan Peterson Fenn is the author of Bringing Up Brits and co-author of Inspiring Global Entrepreneurs with Heidi Mulligan Walker. Meghan is also the Director and Chief Designer at her own design company, White Ochre Design Ltd. And, she is an award winning expat blogger.

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• What are the benefits?
• What is the cost? I’ve heard it’s expensive. Just HOW expensive?
• What are the drawbacks, if any?
• What will this mean for my identity?
• Will this have an impact on my children?
• How weird will it be to become British??
• Am I being disloyal to my home country?
• Can I still call myself American?
• What is the procedure?
• How difficult is the test? Will I be able to pass it?
• Is it worth all the hassle AND the cost?

Over the next few months I’ll be researching these things to see if I want to go ahead with it.

However, if anyone has done this or has already researched it, please add your hints and tips or answers to my questions in a comment. I would really appreciate it. Plus, this post can be a source of help and guidance for others who are thinking about taking the Life in the UK Test with a view to becoming a British national. Oh yeah and is that what it’s called? Or is it citizen instead of national because I wasn’t born here?

Here we go……..  !!

To start, here is a link to a helpful website www.thelifeinuktest.co.uk I think this will answer some of the practical stuff. And there are practice questions on it too so very useful. A fantastic website for those preparing to take the Life in The UK Test. There are also other suggested websites for info and preparation which are below in the comments section – please do take a look.

I suppose I’m more concerned about the ‘intangibles’, if that makes sense. What will this (if I decide to do it) mean for me as an American?

I look forward to reading your comments

 
http://esol.britishcouncil.org/knowledge-language-and-life-uk-statement-intent

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Meghan Peterson Fenn is the author of Bringing Up Brits and co-author of Inspiring Global Entrepreneurs with Heidi Mulligan Walker. Meghan is also the Director and Chief Designer at her own design company, White Ochre Design Ltd. And, she is an award winning expat blogger.

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There are lots of things I CAN do. Here are a few – and if you are suffering from British winter blues, these ideas might help you too.

• It’s nearly Valentine’s Day and yes, I know and have been told several times that Valentine’s Day is not celebrated in Britain and kids don’t do anything for it. Well, I have and I am and my children are enjoying it even if no one else is. There are some wonderful ideas for celebrating Valentine’s Day with children on Life As an Expat Parent blog. And I’ve made a special love bag which I’m dropping in chocs and heart notes to my children and husband. On the day, we can each pull out chocolates and hearts and read them out together. So get your ‘love’ on,  it’s nearly here! I’m already smiling again.
• Invite someone over for coffee and a chat. I’ve done that already this week – I found out about a new family who just moved in to our street who is a friend of a designer friend of mine who passed on her number to me. She hasn’t responded yet, but fingers crossed she’ll be open to meeting new people in her new neighborhood. And we already have design in common as we both run our own design companies.
• Skype or call your family or a friend back home, where ever that may be. For me, it will be my Mom. When I’m feeling down, I still always want to turn to her for comfort even if I don’t ask for it or say anything to suggest I need it. It’s just comforting. Even if she is over 4,200 miles away.
• Bake. Make some comfort food. Get your children baking. Fill your house with wonderful smells and delicious food.
• Movie night. My children love movie night. It’s tricky nowadays with my kids – a 12 year old doesn’t want to watch what a 4 year old wants. The 4 year old can’t watch what the 12 year old wants to watch (and the 12 year old probably shouldn’t either!). But we make it work and there’s always popcorn and nachos involved which makes everyone smile.
• Get out of the house! A walk along the beach (in our case), a country walk or just a simple stroll anywhere. If you have bicycles even better. We don’t but I imagine I would die of a heart attack if I had to monitor all three of mine on bicycles at the same time! Bundle up, wear the right clothes and footwear and have the hot chocolate supplies ready for your return.
• Get out of the house AGAIN. This time without the children. Arrange a night out with friends and treat yourself to a lovely meal or drink. This one is next on my list to action.
• Create a Pinterest board to cheer you up and make you smile. Sometimes it’s the little things that help.
• Do something nice for your spouse or your partner. Treat them to something special. I’ll leave it up to you to decide what
• Go somewhere you’ve never been before. It can be anywhere. Even if it sucks, you’ve done something brand new. And who knows, it might not suck.
• Plan something special for half term. It’s hard for me because I’m working but late afternoons are always a good time for us to get out and do something fun. The cinema, supper at a pizzeria, ice skating, swimming, that winter walk followed by a pub meal… I’ll have to get my thinking cap on.
• Smile at people – even strangers. I know I know, that can be a dangerous strategic move here in Britain. But just try it out. I smiled at another mum walking her kids home from school (I’d never seen her before and she clearly didn’t know me). She looked like she was scowling at me, but the moment I smiled at her, her whole expression changed and she smiled back. (This may seem obvious, but actually I’ve been met with a lot of negativity when I’ve smiled at people I don’t know when passing on the street or people who work in shops or even neighbors. It’s crazy but true. It’s definitely a cultural thing.)
• Ask your kids to write down 3 things they want to do this winter. Then choose one from each list to do and plan when you’re going to do it. Or, if you have fewer children than I have, you can do all 3 things from their list!
• Create a playlist of upbeat, beautiful songs to lift your spirits.
• OK off to wake up my husband and to share my new found cheer.

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Meghan Fenn is the author of Bringing Up Brits and co-author of Inspiring Global Entrepreneurs with Heidi Mulligan Walker. Meghan is also the Director and Chief Designer at her own design company, White Ochre Design Ltd.  And, she is an award winning expat blogger.

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Basically, it’s like having a full time job on top of already having a full time job! I figured I had to get extra organised in order to stay on top of things. Here is a list of some of the things I’ve done which helps me. I’m not saying doing these things will make you remember parents’ evenings and mufti days, but it will help you to feel less crazy. If you are in a similar situation, I hope this helps you. And, if you have any tips for me, please comment on this post below.

• Create folders in your email for each school and as soon as emails come in, categorise them under each school so that if you ever need to refer to them again (and you probably will), they’ll be easy to find and easy to see which school they are from.
• Create dropbox folders for each child and put documents from parentmail for each child in those folders.
• Create a homework folder in Dropbox and individual folders for each child. Show them how to save their homework in their folders so everything is in one place and can be easily printed out or emailed to teachers.
• Anything that needs to be printed out from parentmail or letters from their school bags, or awards/headteacher awards, file in a folder with tabs for each child.
• Any of those letters/documents that are important, put on the fridge (allocate a space for each child’s info on the fridge) and highlight the due in by date. Those magnets that have a clip on them are perfect for this.
• Get the kids in the habit of giving you letters/documents from their school bags as soon as they or you get home. If there is anything urgent, try and deal with it right away and put it back in their school bags and remind them to turn it in the next day. That way you won’t forget and won’t be late in returning the forms.
• Pay for clubs that have fees all in one go rather than weekly. Less admin and you won’t have to worry about having the cash on you or remembering to pay it.
• Bookmark your child’s online homework page (if they have that) and put it in your work schedule to check it weekly, if possible on the day they get their homework in.
• Always keep an eye out for mufti day sweets/presents when at the grocery store or in charity shops and stock up. That way if you forget/(or never saw the letter) and your child tells you on the morning of that it’s mufti day, you have something for them to bring in and it doesn’t turn into a stressful situation.
• Log all term dates, inset days and after school clubs, lessons, activities in your schedule. I use my calendar on my iPhone/iMac/iPad which is helpful because I can always refer to it at home or out and about. You can also set reminders too for important things so that if/when you forget, a reminder will pop up. If you use a paper-based diary, just spend some time jotting everything down, even a year ahead if you have the information to hand. Believe me, if you have 3 kids in 3 different schools, this helps tremendously. It sounds like such a simple thing, but we get so busy and forget to log stuff. If it’s not in my calendar, I tend to forget.

There’s probably more stuff you can do, but that is off the top of my head. I’ll comment on this post if I come up with any new strategies. Good luck everyone and wish me good luck for this term. I already messed up and sent my son to school an hour earlier than he was supposed to go. At least a few of his friends’ parents did too so he had mates to hang out with. I tell you, it really is a full time job staying on top of everything! Ok, off to oversee bookbags.

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Here are a few tools you can use:

Dropbox. File sharing – share photos and videos. Quick and free. www.dropbox.com

Facetime. You have to be an Apple user to use this, but if you have an iPad, iPhone or Mac, then you’re good. I even Facetime Nick during the day if I need to ask him or show him something and he does the same with me. But you can also use it with people who do not live in the same country!

Facebook. This is a super way to show people what you’re up to. Post photos, updates, links and send messages or chat online via Facebook. It’s also a great way to re-connect with people you haven’t been in touch with for a while. It’s quick, easy and free. It’s also a great way to see what your friends and family members get up to on a daily basis or what they’re doing to celebrate special occasions and milestones. www.facebook.com

Vimeo. Upload your videos and create web ready videos to share with your family. Post them to FB/Twitter or email them. vimeo.com

More tips from expat experts such as The American Resident and YourExpatChild on the Robinsons blog. (I’m on there too!)

If you have any tips for good tools to use for keeping in touch, please post on my blog. I’d love to learn about something new.

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I came across an article called ‘Forget cold-cut sandwiches: these packed lunches have cross-cultural flair’. Very interesting. We used to eat Kimchi at home when I was growing up but I never had it in my lunchbox! I did, however, have rice on the days we fasted in order to send money to Africa. The article gives some good ideas and also touches on how kids might be embarrassed by having ethnic foods instead of ‘regular’ sandwiches. My daughter, Anna Grace, would be thrilled to have an entire Mexican or Indian meal in her lunchbox but actually being able to achieve this, as her mother, I’m not sure. She also loves having American style cookies and banana bread and stuff like that. Read this article, it will make you smile and maybe give you some good lunchbox ideas.

http://www.straight.com/food/418196/forget-cold-cut-sandwiches-these-packed-lunches-have-cross-cultural-flair

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