This trip was made special by our discovery of the city of Malaga. We’ve been to Spain as a family at least six times, probably more, flying in and out of Malaga airport. But we had never actually visited the city. Of course we’ve been all over the Costa del Sol to Nerja, Maro, Almeria, Torremolinos and Torrox etc, but we had never actually spent any time in Malaga itself. Why not? I have no idea! Somehow we just never considered it to be worth going to – silly really as it’s a fantastic city. So, this trip we decided we would rectify our mistake.

I recommend Malaga, especially if you have children. There’s tons to do from the family oriented harbour front to the playgrounds dotted around, to the interactive museums and beautiful walks. Stunning Spanish architecture, cultural capital of the Costa del Sol and all round great place to simply sit in one of the many cafes and contemplate the world around you. And of course to people watch. We were only there for one afternoon and I’m sure there’s much more to see and do so we’ll plan another visit into our itinerary for next time.

Meanwhile, it’s back to work and school starting with a business course that I’m teaching tomorrow. Best get going with my lesson plan!

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Meghan Peterson Fenn is the author of Bringing Up Brits, co-author of Inspiring Global Entrepreneurs, co-founder and Director of Design and Web at Shake It Up Creative. And, she is an award winning expat blogger.

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For us, summer time is really just the month of August with a few weeks either side. It means no school and no clubs, sleeping in later (not me!), reading challenges, slobbing out, and some family days out. We also try and go away somewhere for a change of scenery, to re-charge, to experience other places and countries and to get some much needed R&R. For me especially, it’s great to physically leave our house because it’s also my work office and not being here allows me to switch off from work for a bit.

As the kids get older, it becomes a little less stressful organizing things like child care and activity clubs to fit around my work schedule. Mostly I schedule work around the kids! It’s just my youngest now who goes and the older two organize their own stuff, with parental help and direction of course. Here’s what we have planned – no guarantees on some of this but it’s good to have a plan!

• A weekend in my husband’s hometown for a family wedding
• A week in Wales (this could be great or it could be a disaster – it all depends on the British weather!)
• Library reading challenge for my youngest
• My eldest is volunteering at the library to help with the summer reading challenge
• My girl has set herself several reading and writing assignments (not sure of the details but seeing the size of the books, looks like she’ll be busy)
• Holiday club for my youngest
• A week in France via Euro tunnel and with Air BNB (includes a day trip to Paris!!!!)
• My husband and my two oldest will be doing lots of cooking and baking (it’s funny because when we’re away on holiday, we have role reversal and I sit around reading while my husband shops and prepares all the meals. At times, only while on holiday, I actually believe I am incapable of cooking.)
• Cleaning rooms and giving stuff to our local charity shop
• A few DIY jobs around the house
• A few friend meet-ups involving swimming, cinema, sleepovers (I’ll let the kids organize these themselves)
• I’ll be doing lots of work in between all of this as I don’t take much time off over the summer
• A day trip to Arundel Lido (outdoor swimming pool), again, weather permitting. By the way, I love that very British add-on ‘weather permitting’ which seems to accompany every outdoor event. It is very overused and necessary here!
• A day trip with friends to Marwell zoo
• Shopping for school supplies, school uniforms and shoes

I’m really looking forward to the kids finishing school (apart from work panic!) especially after weeks of seeing posts from American Facebook friends about what their kids are doing during summer vacation since school finished back in May/June for them.

Pretty soon it will be September and back to school time so we’d better enjoy every minute of our summer holidays. Hope you all do too!

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Meghan Peterson Fenn is the author of Bringing Up Brits and co-author of Inspiring Global Entrepreneurs with Heidi Mulligan Walker. Meghan is also the Director and Chief Designer at her own design company, White Ochre Design Ltd. And, she is an award winning expat blogger.

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Right now, it goes like this:

6 year old: thinks I’m a bit stupid because I constantly get words wrong – all the time. Especially when I call trousers pants and trainers sneakers. Well what can I say? I’m hard-wired American! He also thinks I’m sort of an alien because I hail from another ‘world’ and he can never remember what that ‘other world’ is called but likes the sound of it. He can’t recall visiting Florida or going to Disney but he loves looking at the photos. Chats non stop to his American Grandmother over the phone and Skype. Unfortunately, she can’t understand a word he says.

12 year old: Gives me pathetic looks when I say things like play clothes and other Americanisms such as Math and suppertime. Has very fond memories of Florida, especially the neighbors she made friends with, the climate and the culture. Understands many of the cultural differences between the two countries and likes to talk about it with me. Sometimes mixes up American pronunciation and spellings with her native British way of saying and spelling words. When this happens at school she is mortified and her friends laugh at her (hopefully in a friendly way). Is incredibly reserved and very British by nature but is interested in my background, her American grandparents and likes the idea of America. Loves peanut butter instead of marmite. That is definitely my fault!

Almost 14 year old (his birthday is July 2nd, Whoop whoop!): Loves all things American especially food such as Kraft Macaroni Cheese, chocolate chip cookies, brownies, Mountain Dew, iced tea, real lemonade, Cheetos and American candy. Loves America and wants to go there on his own when he’s older to travel and to work. Games with American kids online and calls me ‘retarded’ when I suggest that he tell them he’s half American. Actually he calls me ‘retarded’ quite often these days, doesn’t really matter much what I say. I think that must be a teenager thing rather than a cultural thing. Loves to shop online with me for American food-stuffs and treats. Buys me stuff when he’s out and about and sees something that I will love like Cheetos or Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Fields lots of questions from his friends such as ‘why do all Americans have guns?’ and ‘Is it true that Americans eat hamburgers everyday?’ Knows who George Washington and Abraham Lincoln are and what they did, the significance of Thanksgiving and the 4th of July and can’t wait to visit America again.

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Meghan Peterson Fenn is the author of Bringing Up Brits and co-author of Inspiring Global Entrepreneurs with Heidi Mulligan Walker. Meghan is also the Director and Chief Designer at her own design company, White Ochre Design Ltd. And, she is an award winning expat blogger.

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The post The older they get…. my three cross cultural kids appeared first on Bringing Up Brits.

Things that make me ecstatic that I never thought would even factor in, let alone make me happy and add to my enjoyment of life.

• Doing a wash and bringing in dry clothes from the washing line, within 6 to 8 hours only
• Not having to turn the heat on to heat the radiators in order to dry clothes
• Buying peanut butter from Marks & Spencer
• Buying Kraft Macaroni Cheese from Ocado
• Being asked in a shoe or clothing store if I need any help
• Being smiled at by staff pretty much anywhere
• When our food order comes all together and no one has to wait
• When my youngest child’s food order comes first (instead of very last)
• Public transport
• Watching Britain’s Got Talent with my children
• The splendor of the Royal Pavilion in Brighton
• The view of the sea while I watch my children do their swimming lessons
• Discovering new books about cross culture, TCKs, CCKs, language, mixed race and cultural differences
• Meeting other Americans
• Always having an extra sweater or jacket when out and about, even in August
• People asking me where I’m from and not being surprised at my response
• Really good pub chips (french fries, not potato chips)
• Online Tesco delivery
• Meeting people from Romania, Bulgaria, Russia and Holland (and probably many other countries too)
• Talking to other parents about raising children in Britain
• Talking to other parents about raising children in America
• Being called ‘love’ by taxi drivers
• Being called ‘mum’ by my children
• When my husband makes me a ‘nice cup of tea’
• Discovering short breaks to places like Amsterdam and Bruges
• Visiting Spain, another foreign country that is nearly becoming my third ‘home’
• Business lunches in London
• Street food
• Finding a place to park our car in front of our house
• My dishwasher
• Keeping in touch with family and friends who live all over the world via Facebook
• Meeting amazing people who share my sense of global entrepreneurial spirit through Twitter and Expats in Biz
• Pinning on Pinterest
• Afternoon tea at Bill’s (actually, afternoon or cream tea anywhere!)
• Asking “What do you fancy…”
• Saying “I’m knackered”
• When my neighbors smile at me
• When my children smile at me
• When my children’s friends ask for a ‘cookie’ instead of a ‘biscuit’

I could go on! The joy (or should that be the trials and tribulations?) of living in England! Of course there are plenty of things that make me unhappy (such as having to bust a gut to bag up my shopping quickly so as not to anger the checkout person or annoy the next customer by taking too long) but I wanted this post to be full of all the wonderful and somewhat weird discoveries that have become so much a part of my cross-cultural life within a cross-cultural family here in England.

#MyGlobalLife link up

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Meghan Peterson Fenn is the author of Bringing Up Brits and co-author of Inspiring Global Entrepreneurs with Heidi Mulligan Walker. Meghan is also the Director and Chief Designer at her own design company, White Ochre Design Ltd. And, she is an award winning expat blogger.

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• Losing her American accent. This took about a year!
• Spelling things ‘incorrectly’ in school
• The size of the schools (huge in Miami, very small in Sussex)
• The way American teachers are more tactile compared to British teachers
• The way British children and teachers, in general, are more reserved
• The list goes on, but we’d had a few glasses of wine so my recall is a bit muddled!

What struck us both as fascinating was how different our daughters are and we wondered how much of it has to do with the influence of their cultural surroundings and how much is simply down to their personalities. My daughter is very British in that she’s incredibly reserved, cringes when complimented, avoids being the center of attention and physically tries to stop me when I laugh too loudly (that’s probably not a British thing, more like an embarassing mum thing). I sometimes get frustrated with her because I feel she’s not applying herself in the style that might open her up to amazing experiences and successes. And it’s not just my daughter, my eldest too is very reserved. Jenny was saying that her daughter is pretty much the opposite of that and thinks it might have something to do with her first schooling environment and the cultural differences that American children and teachers have compared to British. This really confirmed some of my fears and disappointment that my own influence on my daughter as an American has very little impact due to the fact that she’s growing up in Britain, so culturally different to where I grew up. But Jenny is British through and through and although loved her time in America, she did find some of it incredibly different and at times, a challenge to adapt. Since returning to the UK with her family and continuing her photography business that she started up there, she’s learned to change what worked in the US in terms of what attracted American clients, and making her business a success with the British consumer market. By the way, Jenny took those amazing photos of my children which, if you haven’t seen them yet, can be seen here. So how much influence did Jenny’s cultural background have on her daughter when she was in American schools and essentially, for that time period, growing up American? I suppose a key difference is that Jenny’s husband is also British and they knew they would eventually repatriate. Nevertheless, we found it very interesting indeed and joked about doing an anthropological study and swapping daughters to see if and how much our own cultural backgrounds influence them. Wouldn’t that be fascinating! I mean, I still have my own mother’s words of wisdom and the way she went about doing things in the back of my mind (sometimes at the forefront) on a nearly daily basis so I know the impact mothers can have on their daughters. Just how much of it is personality and how much cultural? Or maybe that’s not the right question… maybe it’s about the cultural influences of our environment that is the most influential. Photo by Jessica Milberg

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Meghan Peterson Fenn is the author of Bringing Up Brits and co-author of Inspiring Global Entrepreneurs with Heidi Mulligan Walker. Meghan is also the Director and Chief Designer at her own design company, White Ochre Design Ltd. And, she is an award winning expat blogger.

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Our conversation prompted me to think about the first few years after I first moved to England and how people would mock my accent and mimic what I said, how I said it. Some of it was funny, some offensive and some outright mean. There were times when people were relentless in their teasing either by constantly laughing in a slightly cruel way (not the I’m laughing with you way, but the I’m laughing at you way) or by repeating everything I said in a mock American accent dripping with disdain. I mostly just brushed it off and tried to laugh along with them even though it was hurtful and, let’s be honest, sometimes I had no clue what they were actually talking about so I just played along.

Now, looking back, I see that it had a profound effect on me and over time, I began to change the words I use, the way I speak in order to fit in and to be ‘accepted’. I also began to hate the sound of my own voice in certain situations and at times felt humiliated – mostly when I couldn’t understand what it was exactly that they were making fun of so couldn’t ‘fight’ back!

There’s a great quote from a book that I’ve just read called Between Worlds: Essays on Culture and Belonging by Marilyn Gardner

Cultural humility demands self-evaluation and critique, constant effort to understand the view of another before we react. It requires that we recognize our own tendency toward cultural superiority. Cultural humility gives up the role of expert, instead seeing ourselves as students of our host culture. It puts us on our knees, the best posture possible for learning.

I do everything I can to learn, to fit in and to be part of my host country. I always have. It was certainly very challenging and sometimes depressing during the early years especially when faced with situations I’ve described above. I think trying to belong in a culture that you didn’t grow up in is a fascinating topic, especially if you’re raising children simultaneously; children who do belong. I highly recommend Between Worlds. It’s written by an adult Third Culture Kid raising Third Culture Kids and aimed at Third Culture Kids, but if you’re like me as well (as I say in my book – I’m a Third Culture parent!), then you’ll love it too.

And for those new to Britain, just because the British accent sounds posh and sophisticated, it really doesn’t mean they all are.

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Meghan Peterson Fenn is the author of Bringing Up Brits and co-author of Inspiring Global Entrepreneurs with Heidi Mulligan Walker. Meghan is also the Director and Chief Designer at her own design company, White Ochre Design Ltd. And, she is an award winning expat blogger.

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The post The British Accent appeared first on Bringing Up Brits.

I’ve been here since the very end of 1998. I came intending to stay for just a few years with a desire to only live in London and then move back to my home country to get serious about my life. Well, turns out I’ve never lived in London, never left England and definitely got serious about my life – British style! I have a successful career as a designer and company director, I’ve written and published two books (both about being an expat), I’ve given birth to and am raising three amazing cross-cultural children and am married to a very British husband. So here’s an insight into my life as an expat American in Britain who’s been here long enough to understand how to be British but still isn’t:

• I’m no longer offended by British humor, however I don’t necessarily understand what is happening
• I say ‘sorry’ way more than I ever used to, especially when it’s the other person’s fault
• I smile and say hi to strangers I pass on the street or in shops and I don’t care any more when they look at me like I’m weird. It’s up to them if they want to smile back – and sometimes they do
• I teach my children that American spelling, pronunciation and vocabulary is not wrong, it’s just different – it’s American English and that even though it’s considered wrong in school here and they get marked down if they use American spelling etc to just secretly know that they are right
• I love the expression ‘cream crackered’ because I am this a lot of the time and in order to understand it you first have to know what knackered means which I didn’t for most of my life
• I drive down small roads thinking they are much wider than they actually are pretending I don’t hear the sound of the wing mirror being bashed off (I’ve had to replace many wing mirrors on all the cars I’ve owned!)
• I love going to London pretending to be a savvy local when actually I squeal (inside my head) with delight when I see a guard with the big furry hat and strap way too high up their chin
• I understand it and can empathize when Americans who visit Britain for the first time tell me living here is like camping but cringe when I know how offensive that can be to a British person even though it’s not meant to be offensive at all
• My children are all very British – this makes me feel proud and sad at the same time, inexplicable and slightly irrational, but true
• British TV is way better than American TV (fewer commercial breaks, weird and wacky TV ads)
• But American crime dramas are way better than British crime dramas
• Sunday dinner tradition British style is part of our cross-cultural family life, although if we sometimes skip it I don’t mind. On the other hand, if we miss it, my husband feels scarred for life
• Getting measurements wrong is a common occurrence for me, confusing lots of people along the way
• I still sometimes go to the supermarket expecting to find exactly what I want and then when it doesn’t exist because it’s an American product I have a mini tantrum setting a bad example to my kids who are very understanding and do a great job of consoling me telling me we live in England, not in America
• The weather here is wonderful and I’ve grown to love it. No tornadoes, hurricanes or ice storms, just damp, rain and sometimes glorious sun
• Train journeys are generally comfortable, convenient and enjoyable (compared to car journeys) and I love the English countryside and lush green everywhere – a thing of real beauty

• Our cupboards are stocked with both British and American products such as HP sauce, Branston pickle, English mustard, JIF peanut butter, Aunt Jemima, Hidden Valley, Heinz baked beans and PG Tips – I know and understand that running out of tea bags can traumatize my husband so I always always make sure we are stocked up!
• I never have nor ever will say or write ‘cheers’ as a substitute for ‘thank you’ or ‘bye’ and I still do a hidden double take when people say ‘cheers’ to me to say ‘thank you’ or ‘bye’
• My son’s best friend asks me for cookies now (instead of biscuits) which I love and think is adorable

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Meghan Peterson Fenn is the author of Bringing Up Brits and co-author of Inspiring Global Entrepreneurs with Heidi Mulligan Walker. Meghan is also the Director and Chief Designer at her own design company, White Ochre Design Ltd. And, she is an award winning expat blogger.

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The post Understanding how to be British but still American through and through appeared first on Bringing Up Brits.

15. Understand the British school system and exam structure for teenagers.

This I feel I have accomplished. We still have the two GCSE years ahead of us but my eldest has just submitted his GCSE options and is all ready for the hard work to come. I now have a clearer understanding of the options, why they have to choose them, what their choices mean, how the school supports them and what is in store for them during years 10 and 11. I still have ‘college’ to learn about but it’s no longer a huge mystery to me and I feel so much more confident and able to help and support my children through the British school system during years 9, 10 and 11. And, I’m so pleased that my son has chosen both History AND Geography because I was secretly appalled at the thought of him not doing Geography at all during his high school years. Yay!

6. Master the art of baking the perfect Victoria sponge. I’d never eaten this before I came to England and now it is one of my favorite cakes but one I’m not very good at baking.

Ok so this one is a bit of a cheat because it was actually my daughter (along with her British father) who completed this one. She and her father made the perfect Victoria sponge while I was away and sent me photos and a detailed description of the making of the cake. My husband then made a second one which I was able to try once back home. Apparently this second one was not as good as the first because my daughter was not involved! This leads me to the next one in the list….

Travel more in Europe. This one wasn’t specifically in my list although I did mention more European travel. I’m going to count it as an additional one. During this past half term, I traveled via Eurostar from London to Bruges with my sister-in-law and we spent three glorious child-free/husband-free days in one of the most charming places I’ve ever been to. This was the first time ever that I’ve been away from my children and without my husband so initially it felt very strange. I soon got over that and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. It’s amazing how relaxing it is not having to think about what to cook, who’s doing what or needs to go where and with what equipment, and not having people saying “Mum, mum, mum” to me every two minutes. Really, it’s very refreshing! It was a long overdue much needed break away from work as well but of course I brought back lots of chocs for everyone!

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Meghan Peterson Fenn is the author of Bringing Up Brits and co-author of Inspiring Global Entrepreneurs with Heidi Mulligan Walker. Meghan is also the Director and Chief Designer at her own design company, White Ochre Design Ltd. And, she is an award winning expat blogger.

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