Oh so very British

One thing that I have learned while living in Britain is that British people love big but show it in a very British way meaning a very reserved way, which I have grown to appreciate and understand. I grew up in a culture where outward effusiveness was the norm. Clapping loudly and at length, yee-hawing and bellowing out our well wishes and cheers was a common occurence whether at a sports game, a school play, a community event and sometimes even at AGMs and business meetings. Here, not so much. This doesn’t mean that people don’t love celebrating or love it any less than Americans love their events. And now with social media, I see it even more online – the British do love big, they just don’t necessarily show it by making a big scene but it doesn’t mean they don’t think it’s a big deal, because it actually is.

This past weekend we went to the annual Findon Sheep Fair, a quintessentially British event complete with fairground, craft stalls, farm animals, car boot, cake stalls and of course demonstrations. Local people love this annual event and we’ve been a few times since living in Sussex. One of the main events was the sheep parade where they presented to the sheep or rather the owners their prizes. There was a pretty big crowd there and it was thoroughly enjoyable and cute. It was also very reserved with polite clapping. No doubt there were some very proud sheep owners and probably some proud sheep too.

I think by understanding this about the British it allows me to enjoy my life here even more. There was a time, and perhaps I do still get caught out sometimes but I think that’s only natural, when I felt deflated by the lack of outward cheering or support people would give at events or shows. Especially when it involves children. Did people not enjoy themselves? Were they not proud of their children? Did they not want to whoop holler and cheer on their offspring? There are no cheerleaders here, the British do not want cheerleaders, it’s simply not their style. There is a kind of silent (and when I say silent, I literally mean silent) cheering that is understood by everyone and everyone seems happy with that. Of course they are proud of their children, of course they enjoyed themselves, there is no question about it. This is something that has taken me a long time to get used to.

With my own family, I try and find a happy medium. I can’t disregard my natural reaction to things due to my American upbringing. Yet, I don’t willingly want to embarrass my children and husband on a regular basis. Gauging the situation is always good as well because sometimes I just can’t help myself and I have to shout about it and whoop holler and yell. Sometimes I feel that is the right thing to do even if it’s not the British thing to do.

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Meghan Peterson Fenn is the author of Bringing Up Brits and co-author of Inspiring Global Entrepreneurs with Heidi Mulligan Walker. Meghan is also the Director and Chief Designer at her own design company, White Ochre Design Ltd. And, she is an award winning expat blogger.