Small house
We live in an end of terrace Victorian house on a crowded street in the South of England. Our house has many wonderful features – bay windows, some nice moulding, a beautiful fireplace and stripped wood floors. However, it is small. Too small for a family of 5. With only 3 bedrooms and 1 bathroom we are quickly outgrowing our British home. The children’s bedrooms are tiny, there are no closets and there is only 1 storage cupboard in the entire house. Our washing machine has to go in the kitchen because there is no utility room to house it. In addition to the inside space being so small, we have very little outside space. The back yard, or ‘garden’ really is just a tiny patch of garden. We have no front yard and no place to park our car apart from on the street. If we are lucky, we’ll find a space just outside our house. If we aren’t so lucky, we’ll have to park on another street altogether. This is a typical English terraced house. I feel fortunate to be living in a lovely house but I do feel like I’ve been cheated. When I see the type of house and amount of land we could have in America for less than what we paid for our British house, it makes me sick to my stomach. This is why I don’t look very often.
It was brought to my attention this morning (by my children) just how small our house is for us and the fact that we will never be able to afford a bigger house in Britain unless we move to a crappy area or up towards the North where my husband doesn’t have a job, or if we win a million pounds. The thought of moving again within Britain and paying so much money in fees and stamp tax also makes me feel sick to my stomach. 7 years ago when we looked for a house to move to because my husband got a job in Brighton, this was the only house we could afford that also offered the number of bedrooms that we needed at the time. It was also in the right location for a commute into Brighton and schools for the kids. So we had to down-size from a 4 bedroom house with a decent sized garden to a 3 bedroom house with a tiny garden. It seemed like the best plan at the time and we really did make the most of a difficult situation. (I won’t dwell on the fact that I burst into tears every day for 6 months). Houses are just so incredibly expensive here and even some of the expensive ones only have 1 bathroom and no utility room and tiny gardens.
Sorry for such a depressing post. I will be back on good form next time, I promise.
This is what is available within our budget in the States. Photo from the Keadle Real Estate website. I can’t event look at the interior – the rooms are so spacious it makes me want to slash my wrists!
If you like this blog, then buy Bringing Up Brits BUY HERE or buy from AMAZON.
look at the positives. only one bathroom to clean. the house you showed has several house of lawn mowing a week plus other yard work. and if it snows there is the shoveling. there are time I think I’d like to downsize. We live in the burbs, we can’t walk or ride a bike to the market or library. We have to drive everywhere 10 to 30 minutes. I guess the grass is always greener in the others side of the fence.
Hi Jodi, yes you are right – the grass is always greener on the other side. And we absolutely love the walking culture here in Britain. It is frustrating though when the cost of living is so incredibly high and a regular family sized house is unaffordable. I don’t complain and it doesn’t bother me on a daily basis, but it’s when things come to a head that I re-visit my frustration with it all.
I’m not familiar with the real estate site but where in the US is it? I’m guessing for that price not in a city. That would easily be a million dollar home in my area. More depending on the size of the lot. A good location is key. No house is perfect. It’s all about getting the best you can for what you can afford. The 1 bath would be a challenge. At least another 1/2 bath would be helpful. Especially when you have teenagers! 🙂
Jen, yes I agree, no house is perfect and we have to do the best we can. We do have the best house for us that we can afford at the moment (here in Britain) so no complaints there, but the 1 bathroom is increasingly becoming more difficult! And I’ll never be a happy with the washing machine in the kitchen and no closets! That house is in Summerville, South Carolina – no idea about the area or about the neighborhood. I just took an example of a house that would be within our budget. It all depends on area as well as you say.
Meg, we just sold our house in NJ and moved to London this year. I feel for you. We are renting and no plans to buy a house here (unless we win the lottery!). We bought back home when the market was high in 2006 and put $100k improvements into what was to be our dream home. We sold in 2012 for $100k less than what we purchased. Talk about wanting to cry! LOL Aside from that though I love living here in the UK. Focusing on the losses doesn’t help me apreciate the gains (and there are many!) of living here. Thanks for your blog by the way, as I can use all the help I can get in bringing up my own two little Brits. *smile*
Hi Heather, OMG! What a huge change. What brings you to the UK? And how old are your children. Welcome to London – I’m sure you are loving it. When I first thought I’d move to England I said “I’m not moving to England unless we live in London!” But of course that never happened…. anyway, I hope you are having a great time and that my blog is helping you with some of the practical differences between USA and UK. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help. Look forward to hearing more about your story. I love learning about other people’s experiences.
The only other positive I can think of for a small house – keeping life simple. You can’t have too much stuff, there’s no room. We have a 3 bedroom house with 1.5 baths but it’s just the 2 of us and 2 dogs. But there is STUFF EVERYWHERE! We have a basement and bedroom full of stuff. I don’t know what all this stuff is! But there’s room for it so no need to get rid of it..right? We were in a 1 bed, 1 bath apartment when we moved in here. 4 yrs later, the place is full of I don’t know what..and sometimes I wish we were back in that little apartment where we just didn’t have room for one more thing. Did I mention the garage? More stuff..don’t even park the car in there! YIKES!
Ha Ha! I can just imagine it. And you are right. We get rid of lots of stuff every once in a while because there is simply NO place to keep it! Writing this makes me want to go through the kids toy boxes and get rid of the stuff at the bottom of them – the things that haven’t seen the light of day for at least 2 years!! Thanks so much for your comment Naomi. So good to hear from you. And I LOVE your dogs. They are sooooo adorable.
Hi Meg, I am a New Zealander who moved to the UK a year ago with my British husband, baby son and dog. I have just discovered your blog and book (which I have ordered and cannot wait to read!). I agree with you about the size of the houses, I struggle to get used to the size of the semi-detached we have brought. Our neighbours have complained about our dog barking, something which never happened back home. One positive thing, although NZ houses are big they have no central heating and often no proper insulation or double glazing so in winter it is freezing! At least here the houses are cosy and warm. After one year the euphoria of the move has warn off a bit and I am now working through the cultural differences. NZ is so much more laid back and like the US the people are very open and ask questions when you meet them to get to know you. I find myself getting “the look” so many times as a Mother and I do not have a clue what I am doing to warrant it half the time. I have brought Kate Fox’s book Watching the English” as well to try and figure out why I get “the look” so much:-).
Hi Corinne,
thanks so much for your comment and also for buying Bringing Up Brits. I am thrilled and really hope you like it and find it useful. It’s interesting what you say about working through the cultural differences after having been here for a year. I think it’s to do with the fact that NZ, UK, USA all have the same language so the cultural differences are not so obvious at first and we experience them in a more subtle way perhaps. I got “the look” so many times too at toddler groups when my children were babies! You are NOT alone. I think it’s because we offer (sometimes unknowingly) a different perspective on parenting and motherhood simply because of our own backgrounds. I found there seems to be a certain way of parenting here – especially with babies – and if we are different in any way, then we get “the look”. I will say that sometimes that look isn’t totally negative, just enquiring. And thanks for pointing out the central heating as a positive to British houses – yes, they are snug and cosy and yes that is definitely a positive! Thanks so much and I look forward to hearing your feedback on Bringing Up Brits.
I too am a New Zealander bringing up my child in the UK. Having been born here 4.5 years ago, my child relates to all things British – the Union Jack, Jessica Ennis and local accents. I however, seem to be heading back more to my Kiwi-ness since I became a parent, and draw on many of the stereotypical traits and habits of a New Zealander. I actively encourage my child to kick her shoes off and run around barefoot; to get her clothes and self as muddy as she can; to climb up the trees and on to the high stuff in the playground. It’s these actions that frequently result in me getting ‘the look’. I breastfed and co-slept. When my child joined pre school, I got ‘the look’ because I didn’t jump for joy when she achieved the highest test mark in her class at the end of the year, and when her ‘value added’ was the highest of all pupils (at age 4!). I often feel like a square peg in a round hole when it comes to parenting and I do worry that my daughter might start to feel that she’s not quite like the other kids. But I try to look on the bright side and not let it bother me; I’ll try to give her both the best of British and the best of New Zealandness as she grows up.
Absolutely fantastic! I totally agree. The best of both can be much better than just one culture 🙂 My kids are very British and relate to all things British too. I do American history lessons each week with them which contributes to my attempt to instill some sort of American-ness in them. Thanks for your post Jennifer and hope to hear from you again on this blog.
Thanks Meg, I have ordered your book and am very much looking forward to reading it. I’m actually very relieved to have found this site, and to recognize my own feelings and thoughts in the posts here. I’m not alone after all 😉
Thanks so much Jennifer! I really hope it helps and you enjoy reading it and can relate to some of the parent’s experiences. And let me know your feedback 🙂
Hi there Meghan, As always another great blog post. I have to say we are LOVING the house we are renting in Cary, North Carolina, housing and family neighborhoods were a huge factor in where we decided to move to after Beijing. London was an option but housing and schooling would have been a challenge. After a good sized apartment in central Beijing with great storage and an amazing communal play area for the kids – where they had the freedom to come and go as they pleased – we specifically chose this area of the US due to the fact it is so family oriented, lemonade stands feature every weekend, every community has a clubhouse with pool, and most of the houses have so much space and yet they still have what they call a “bonus room” which is often the kids play room. Believe me after dealing with the UK housing market for 15 years we were more than ready for plenty of space, closets, garage and basketball hoop and are loving every minute. We definitely don’t take it for granted – we know what it is like to not have this space so will enjoy it for as long as possible. The funny thing is I keep leaving the garage door open when I pull out, after not driving for 18 years and never having had a garage I am totally not used to automatic garage door openers.
The other thing I have learned after moving our family around a bit over the last few years is that home is definitely wherever you are all together – whether that is a huge house or a one bedroom apartment:)
Have a great week and come and visit us in North Carolina any time!
Oh that’s funny about the garage doors. When we visit my parents in the States I’m always amazed at their garage doors (even though I grew up with automatic garage doors as a child!) it’s just something you don’t see every day here and you get used to NOT having that or seeing that. I’m so glad you’ve settled in and are enjoying the space – have to admit, I AM jealous! But you are so right. Home is where we are with our families and for me, my home now is our house here in the UK and I love it.
Hi! I like your blog. I too live in the south of England (in Chichester ) with my aunties family. Sorry about the house, it is always a question about money I think. Compared to Sweden , where I come from, I don’t think it is too expensive, just about the same.
Check out my blog! Glad to have found your blog 🙂
Hi Ingrid,
thanks for your comment. I think Sweden is probably more expensive than the UK?? At least that’s what I’ve heard. You are just down the road. Hope you are enjoying Chichester! Nice blog – lovely photos.
Hello from another expat. I, too, mourn (literally) for an American-size home, but as I’m married to a Brit it simply will never happen. In Dallas, where I’m from, for the price of our humble bungalow in Kent, we could have a 4-bed, 2-car garage with a swimming pool! And of course we could actually USE the pool almost all year round, too.
I’ve been here 12 years and have no little ones, thank goodness (just grandchildren in Texas and step-grandchildren here). The school system in the UK makes me crazy!
Love your blog.
Thanks so much Jane. I love comments like yours because I can relate to them so much and I love hearing that people love my blog 🙂 One thing I do like about bungalows here in the UK is the larger space around them (front and back and sometimes side gardens). Terraced houses, as you know, will never have that much space! I do love my house despite my slightly negative post (I was frustrated the day I wrote that! As is sometimes the case…) and we’ve since converted the loft and we now have an extra room and bathroom/shower room. It’s great, I love it!